Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
