Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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