apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Enjoy the penises
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
