im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
