she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
