I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
