whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
