that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
