He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All I want is dick and wine.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
