Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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