Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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