Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
