I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
