he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
