I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
