ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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