Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
