Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
