Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
