I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
