how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
