yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema†were spoken.
Randomize
