my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
