Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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