i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
