Need sex. Gaining weight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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