fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
