Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
