that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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