Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
