Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize