plz talk dirty to me
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
