So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
