i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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