They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
