from now on my penis is your penis
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My vagina is officially offended.
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