I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
