His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
