I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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