best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
