I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'd cum for enchiladas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize