I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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