i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
