God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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