Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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