I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
