ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
