talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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