just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
