It's just like the Real World with babies
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
