Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize