we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
