Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
