but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
