Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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