You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
