I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
