Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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