I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
