out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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